Black Beans and Rice

Last week was one hell of a week. I dealt with some really hard things in my life and had to confront some really difficult realities about myself. The fall out of the entire situation isn't yet clear, but I have been forced to look directly at myself, admit some hard truths, and decide whether to grow or lose myself in pity and fear.

I choose life.

And, of course, you can't live without eating.

Sometimes, though I go a little overboard in the kitchen. Tonight, thus far, I have made homemade guacamole. I am making carne frita. I am also boiling the pork bone from the carne frita, combined with some herbs, to create a soup base for later use. And, after all that, I am also making my homemade vegetarian black beans.

Did I mention I also cooked an amazing seafood stir fry with glass noodles for lunch? If I didn't, I just did.

But, enough with the food porn...here is my black bean recipe. Enjoy.

Black Beans and Rice

1lb bag black beans
4 tbsp Lobster flavor Better than Bouillon
5 bay leaves
1 tsp rosemary
1/2 tsp cumin
1 teaspoon salt
1 tsp curry
1 jalapeno
1 tsp crushed red pepper
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp tarragon
1/2 large red onion diced
4 cloves garlic minced
1 tbsp Adobo

First, to speed up cooking time, soak your black beans in water over night. If you forget or don't have the time to do that or you have a whole bunch of time in the house one day...then don't worry about soaking them.

First off, if you want purely vegetarian beans, feel free to leave out the lobster bouillon. The flavor black beans are so rich that even without any animal product, they are delicious. The lobster bouillon, however, takes these beans from delicious to blow-your-friggin-brain-straight-out-of-your-skull-and-into-orbit delicious.

Pour the beans into a large cooking pot. Cover the beans with water until there is about an inch of water above the beans. Next add in all of the additional ingredients. With a large spoon, stir all of the ingredients together so they are well mixed. Next turn the beans on medium heat and cover.

Watch the heat so that the beans don't boil over too much and check the beans every 15-20 minutes to make sure that they are well covered with water. If you have soaked the beans over night, it should take about an hour and a half of slowly simmering and stirring to finish these beans. If not, it will take roughly four hours.

But let me tell you, do NOT rush the process. If you keep the beans covered in water, you can't overcook them, and the longer you let them cook the more amazing they will be.

Serve the beans with rice to make a complete carb/protein meal or serve the beans as a side dish with your favorite protein. This dish will create about 10 services for a family of four, so you should freeze some of the beans or use the beans in a good stir fry. Without the bouillon, the cost of this dish is roughly $5, with the lobster sauce the cost is roughly $10.

Garlic Buttered Egg Noodles with Asparagus and Button Mushrooms

Growing up, my Mom was very very tricky. One of her favorite tricks was to make my brother Jason and I believe that cheap and mundane dishes were expensive treats to be had only on occasion. I love that trick.

One dish my Mom would make that I loved was garlic buttered egg noodles. I took my Mom's old recipe and jazzed it up a bit. It's cheap, delicious, and a great main vegetarian dish or side dish with my shellfish recipe.

Garlic Buttered Egg Noodles with Asparagus and Button Mushrooms

1 lb egg noodles
1 lb asparagus (cut in thirds)
1 package button mushrooms sliced
2 cloves garlic
1 tsp garlic salt
4 tbs salted Irish butter
A couple dashes of hot sesame oil
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup cilantro
1/2 cup red onion

First, cook the egg noodles until al dente. Drain and set aside. In a large skillet (I use my wok), heat the olive oil. Saute the asparagus and button mushrooms until they are cooked to your taste. Remove the vegetables from the pan. Next, add the butter to the pan and melt the butter, next add the cilantro, garlic, and red onion. Cook over medium heat for 3-4 minutes. Then add the noodles, sesame oil, vegetables, and garlic salt. Cook all together for 5 minutes. Serve it up and enjoy!

This recipe will run you about $5-$7 and will feed four people to the gills.

Cashew Curry

A few years ago, I was at a t-shirt release party for my friend Chamindika Wanduragala (www.chamindika.com). Chamun is an amazing visual artist, a stellar clothing designer, and a wonderful cook. She has also saved my ass financially on a couple of occasions.

I walked into her party and asked her what was on the menu for eats. She said cashew curry, and I did my best not to turn up my nose too far. I mean...really....for real....for real for real? Cashew curry...I was doubtful.

But, my Mama taught me to never turned my nose up at food unless I try it first. So I scooped a bit of basmati rice on my plate and then planted some cashews on top of it. I took a bite...and I didn't move from that damn spot for about an hour. I have a problem with portion control, and Lord have mercy I overate that night yes I did.

It's been a couple of years since I've had the curry, and I moved away from Minneapolis, so I figured that if I wanted it, I would have to figure out how to cook it myself. I tried to summon Chamun's recipe, but she has had a baby and is not so much the Facebook addict that I am. So I scanned various cashew curry recipes and settled on one that seemed closest to the Sri Lankan delight that Chamun whipped up for us.

I changed very little to this recipe, so this is not an original creation of mine, but it is damn good.

Cashew Curry Sri Lankan Style As Interpreted by a Negro From the Midwest

16 oz roasted Cashews
3 Cups thin Coconut milk (or water)
1 medium Onion, sliced
2 fresh green Chilies, sliced
2 cloves Garlic, crushed
5 cm Cinnamon stick
3 tbs Vegetable oil
1/4 tsp ground turmeric
2 tbs Raw Curry powder (see recipe for raw curry powder)
1 tbs crushed red pepper
1 Cup thick Coconut milk or fresh milk

METHOD :
- Place the cashews in a bowl, add boiling water, close with lid and
soak for about 4 hours or overnight.
- Drain the water from cashews and add salt, turmeric, raw curry
powder, goraka and mix well until cashews are well coated.
- Heat the oil in a medium saucepan then add onions, green chilies,
crushed garlic, cinnamon and fry until onions are soft and golden
brown.
- Add the cashews and keep stirring until well coated with oil and
onions.
- Add thin coconut milk (or water), close with lid and cook on slow
heat until cashews are soft and cooked.
- Add the thick coconut milk (or fresh milk) and bring to a boil on
slow heat.
- Turn off heat. Adjust salt to taste.

Here is my interpretation of the above, which is from the original recipe that I found at http://paradisaya.tripod.com/recipes/cashewc.txt.

First of all, do soak the cashews overnight.

Second of all use the coconut milk at the end along with two cups more water, bring to a boil and then turn the heat down low, and simmer covered for FOUR HOURS at minimum.

Then turn off heat, serve with brown rice, and enjoy.

Let me tell you....David LOVED LOVED LOVED this recipe.

This recipe will easily feed a crew of 6-8 for about $15. Also, it is a completely vegan recipe.

Basil Jasmine Rice with Garlic/Pepper Tofu

Last night David and I had our 2nd (his 3rd) annual pumpkin carving party. It was good times and great fun with amazing people. As usual, we fed our guests good food that was good for them (except, perhaps, for the pumpkin chocolate bread....it was DELICIOUS but perhaps not the best for you).

This recipe takes a little more prep time, but it is worth it.

Here's the dish that I served up for the kiddies:

Basil Jasmine Rice with Garlic/Pepper Tofu

2 Cups Jasmine Rice
4 Garlic Cloves minced
3 bunches Green Onion diced
3 cups Fresh Basil minced
2 Jalapenos minced
1 Red Bell Pepper diced
2 cups fresh Green Beans
4 cups Snow Peas
1/2 cup Cilantro minced
1/2 cup Red Onion minced
1/4 Soy Sauce
2 packages Garlic/Pepper Tofu (or plain tofu if you can't find the flavored version)
1/4 cup Peanut Oil

First of all you want to prepare your rice a couple hours a ahead of time. Cook the jasmine rice using the directions on the bag. I use about 1/2 cup less water than recommended. The rice will be fully cooked but it will also be a little more firm, which is better for later on in the recipe. Once the rice is cooked put it in the refrigerator for a couple of hours or until it is cooled.

Next prepare your tofu. Use the directions for preparing your tofu here.

In a large wok heat your peanut oil. You can use olive oil, but peanut oil is better for high heat cooking. Once the oil is hot add to it the garlic, green onions, basil, cilantro, red onions and soy sauce. Cook for about 2 minutes.

Add the remaining vegetables to the wok. Cook for 5 minutes stirring frequently to mix the flavors together.

Then add to the tofu to the mixture. Cook for another 5 minutes.

Lastly add the jasmine rice. Cook for ten minutes stirring frequently to make sure the rice is mixed well with the rest of the ingredients.

Remove from dish from heat and serve it up!

This dish will comfortably serve four to six people and have them stuffed to the gills. The entire cost of this meal is roughly $10-$15 depending on the season and the cost of the vegetables and tofu in your area.

Spicy Tofu with Snow Peas

Let the joyous news be spread! After years of fighting with the Lords of the Tofu, I have finally defeated them. Good grief, for the life of me I could by extra firm tofu, extra extra firm tofu or a frickin' cement block, and if I put it in my wok the damn thing would break apart and become tofu dust.

But today, by merging wisdom found on the Internet with wisdom found in the head of my friend Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap, I finally succeeded in making tofu, that kept its shape, and was so damn good that David and I cleaned out the wok, and there wasn't a bit of roasted garlic or a fleck of tofu essence left in the pot.

I had to summon massive self control to not lick the wok before cleaning it. It was just that damn good.

So here is this weeks HIGHLY nutritious and HIGHLY delicious from The Fairy Chef, who shall also be known as Emperor of Tofu, Defender of the Bean Curd, Lord of Soy.

Spicy Tofu with Snow Peas

1 package of extra firm tofu (I bought the package with garlic and black pepper in it already)
2 tbsp peanut oil
Non-Stick Veggie Spray
1/4 lb Snow Peas
4 cloves garlic
4 tbsp Brandon's Shut Your Mouth Sauce (optional--recipe can be found on this blog)
Seasoning Salt

First of all, open the tofu package and drain out all of the liquid. On a cutting board, first cut the tofu into thin strips, then slice those strips into squares that are roughly 1/2 and inch on each side.

Next, lay out the pieces of tofu, closely together side by side, on a clean dish towel. Next cover the tofu with the other the other half of the dish towel. Place a heavy glass baking dish on top of the towel containing the tofu. This will soak up extra moisture from the tofu. Believe me...this made all the difference in the world. Leave it covered and pressed for about 10 minutes.

While all that business is going on, pre-heat your oven to about 450 degrees. You can also mince the garlic and wash your snow peas and set aside.

After about 10 minutes, uncover the tofu. Spray a large baking pan with your non-stick vegetable cooking spray. If you don't have the spray, you can grease the pan using butter or olive oil that you dab on a paper towel. But, you will cut down on fat and calories by using the spray.

Lay the tofu in the pan. Next sprinkle the tofu with seasoning salt. Then, sprinkle the tofu lightly with Brandon's Shut Your Mouth Sauce.

Place the tofu in the oven, uncovered for five minutes. Flip the tofu and let bake for another five to seven minutes.

After you've turned the tofu, place your walk or large skillet on the stove. Heat the peanut oil in the wok until it is piping hot. Add the garlic and let it caramelize (don't add anything else to the wok until you see the garlic start to brown around the edges). Then, to the oil and garlic add your tofu. With a spatula flip the tofu as it fries in the oil. Do this for about three minutes and then add the snow peas. Continue to flip the mixture (DO NOT STIR...FLIP LIKE PANCAKES!) for about five minutes. I like my snow peas still kind of crunchy, if you like yours less crunchy, then fry for about eight minutes.

Remove the stir fry from the heat and serve with brown rice. If you want to take up the heat a notch, set out a bottle of Sri Racha sauce, or, as I recently learned that some people call it, "Rooster" Sauce because of the rooster on the bottle.

It is damn good, and you can make this entire dish, that fed two voracious people or non-gluttons for $5-$7.

Vegetarian Saffron Fried Rice

Last night, I finally perfected my vegetarian fried rice. I threw a surprise birthday party for David. David doesn't eat anything that flies or crawls on land, so I was limited to fish and vegetarian cuisine. I cooked up a whole mess of mussels (recipe to come), and my vegetarian fried rice. The food was delicious, the people were delicious, and I was asked if I would be willing to do cooking lessons.

Watch for the announcement for the new Fairy Chef Cooking Series coming your way next month.

Until then, here is the recipe for the Saffron Fried Rice.

Vegetarian Saffron Fried Rice

3 cups White or Brown Jasmine Rice
1/2 cup Soy sauce
1/2 lb snow peas
1 large red bell pepper
4 cloves garlic
1 jalapeno
1 bunch of scallions
1/4 cup Brandon's Shut Your Mouth Hot Sauce (optional)
1 package button mushrooms
1/3 cup peanut oil
2 packets Sazon Goya con Azafran (Goya Seasoning with Saffron)


This recipe is a two step process. The first step is to cook the jasmine rice according to the instructions on the packet. My trick to ensuring that the rice is cooked perfectly is to use 1/2 cup LESS water than the cooking instructions recommend.

Cook your rice and then stick it in a tupperware container and put in the fridge for two hours. This cools the rice and ensures the rice will have a stronger texture when cooking (it keeps the rice firm instead of getting mushy).

Next dice your bell pepper into bite size pieces. Slice the button mushrooms length wise. Wash the snow peas. Set aside.

Mince the garlic, jalapeno, and scallions. Set aside.

Once the rice is chilled, heat the peanut oil in a large skillet or a wok. Peanut oil has a higher heat threshold before burning than regular vegetable oil and olive oil, and since we want the food to cook quickly at high heat using other types of oil is not recommended.

Throw the garlic, jalapeno, and scallions into the woke. Let them fry up (stirring them) for about five minutes. We want the strong flavor of the oil to be mellowed by the garlic, etc. Next, add the bell peppers, mushrooms and snow peas. Add the soy sauce at this point. Cook the vegetables until the mushrooms are almost wholly cooked. Add the Shut Your Mouth Sauce to the mix and stir for another minute.

Then add the jasmine rice. Stir the rice into the vegetables. Add the Goya seasoning. The rice will turn bright yellow at this point, make sure the entire mixture is thoroughly mixed together and the rice is heated to sizzling hot.

Shut down the heat and pull out a bowl and your appetite, cuz it's ready to eat. Salt to taste.

This fried rice was so good, I almost didn't get to eat any last night. And it was gone before anyone could get seconds. Though they sure did ask for some. This whole she-bang will set you back a grand total of about $6-$8. It feeds four people to bursting...it fed 10 people just enough to tease 'em.

Brandon's Shut Yo Mouth Hot Sauce

WARNING THIS HOT SAUCE IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!

I am not responsible for what happens during preperation, at the moment of consumption, or the moment of excretion when your booty hole swells up and starts singing.

But damn this shit is good.

I love spicy food. I mean I LOVE spicy food. I like my tongue to be on that razor sharp edge between love and pain, hurt and heaven. When it comes to spicy food, I am way into S/M. Now, I have, a couple of times, surpassed my comfort zone and had to use my safety word. I will never again try to be bold enough to eat West Indian or Sri Lankan food like a native. Those two cuisines had me callin' on foreign gods and sprouting sweat fountains out of the back of my head. But short of those types of fires...I like it HOT HOT HOOOOOOTTTTTTT!

When I was a kid, I remember visitng my Pinoy relatives in Texas. My step-Grandmother had a hot sauce she made by soaking hot peppers in vinegar. Then, she would sprinkle the vinegar over rice and meat at the table...like a Pillipino version of tabasco sauce. But waaayyyyy better.

I took it up a notch. This is my version of that recipe. BTW, this sauce is completely vegan, so there is equal opportunity for both carnivores and herbivores to thoroughly cleanse out the lining of their colons.

Brandon's Shut Yo Mouth Hot Sauce

6 Habanero Peppers
25 Serrano Chiles
20 Finger Peppers
40oz white vinegar
6 garlic cloves
1 tbsp raw sugar
1/4 cup salt
2 tbsp garlic salt
1 large mason jar or jar with a sealable lid

First things first, if you are not used to working with peppers this hot you should think about wearing gloves when handling the peppers. Once you start cutting into the peppers, if you are not wearing gloves, do NOT rub your eyes or scratch any sensitive parts of your anatomy. I barely scratched my upper lip while making this last batch and it tingled uncomfortably for an hour. In the past, I have made the mistakes of scratching the family jewels...and let's just say I thought about becoming a eunuch.

First of all, pour the salts and sugar into the bottom of your jar.

Then, begin slicing your peppers. Start at the tip of each pepper and cut small circular pieces from the tip to the stem. Once your peppers are all sliced, alternate the various types of peppers and put them into the jar. Once all the peppers are in and you have admired the bright red, orange, yellow, and green of the quasi deadly concoction, add to the jar the white vinegar.

Finally, peel your garlic cloves, smash the garlic with the flat of your knife and cut into large pieces. Add the garlic to the jar.

Then, with a large wooden spoon, stir the contents of the jar together until thoroughly mixed.

Seal the jar and sit on a shelf for a week. You can let it sit for a longer or shorter amount of time at your discretion. The longer you allow the hot sauce to sit, the hotter it will be.

After a week, leaving the peppers in the jar, scoop out some of the vinegar mixture to use to spice your food when cooking it or afterwards to give it that final spicy edge.

This will make quit a bit of hot sauce. You can easily pour the larger bottle into smaller bottles for ease of use or for gifts. To make a ginormous jar of the hot sauce (which should last you a good six months to a year)...the total cost is $10-$11.

PS Here is a great article from the Smithsonian Magazine that I received from my college alum Lee Dunham Sessions...thanks Lee.

Summer Pasta

So, this evening, I decided I wanted to make something light and tasty for dinner. I still had some leftover fresh veggies, it was too hot to have soup for dinner, and I thought a break from brown rice would do us good.

So here is what I concocted in the kitchen. Note, I was in the store and I found some new egg noodles that I hadn't encountered before. They are egg noodles made with just egg whites. While they are much lower in cholesterol and also are 99% fat free, they are also 102% less tasty than regular egg noodles. Since I believe in eating foods in moderation and certain foods, such as pasta, no more than once a week, I think you will be fine with regular egg noodles (which are also three times cheaper). If, though, you have to watch your cholesterol or your fat intake, the egg white only egg noodles will probably have a better taste than the blended whole wheat egg noodles that I also saw on the shelf today.

PS I made this dish with and without chicken. For a veggie version simply leave the chicken out.

Summer Pasta

1 lb egg noodles
1 large red bell pepper
1/2 cup fresh basil minced
1 shallot minced
4 garlic cloves minced
1/2 lb button mushrooms
1/3 cup cilantro
1 jalapeno
1/3 cup olive oil
7-8 plum tomatoes
4-6 cups fresh spinach minced
2 large boneless/skinless chicken breasts
1 tsp crushed red pepper
Parmesan cheese

First boil your noodles until they are al dente. Drain the noodles and run cold water over them to keep them from sticking. Set aside.

Make sure that all of your veggies are minced, chopped, etc, and set aside.

If you are making this dish with chicken, slice the breasts into medium size chunks. In a large skillet, heat the oil and add the jalapeno, garlic, and shallots. Add the chicken and cook for 7-8 minutes over high heat until they are mostly but not fully cooked. Reduce the heat to medium. Add to the pan all remaining ingredients save the parmesan cheese. Also, at this time, add the noodles. Stir the pasta, chicken and veggies together for another seven or eight minutes, until the chicken is thoroughly cooked.

Serve and enjoy.

If you are making the meatless version...heat the oil and add all of the ingredients to the pot at once. Cook until the mushrooms are ready to eat, and then serve it up.

This dish is light and refreshing, and it was thoroughly enjoyable. It also, without the chicken, will cost roughly $4-$6 and will easily feed four people a couple of helpings. With the chicken, the price is $10-$12, and, again, will easily feed four people.